Don't Go
by define-serenity
Summary: Sebastian/Blaine. Sebastian and Blaine have been best friends for the past two years, but Blaine has decided to leave his best friend behind. What will Sebastian do? oneshot. COMPLETE.


**disclaimer:** without prejudice. the names of all characters contained here-in are the property of FOX and Ryan Murphy. no infringments of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission.

**author's notes:** based on a gifset made by **spuffina** for Tumblr's Seblaine week, prompt 'Dalton'. special thanks to my beta **Inwenalas**.

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**Don't Go;;**

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He can't believe his palms are actually sweaty. Blaine rubs his hands together, making his way down the corridor to the library, where Nick had informed him Sebastian was holed up. He can do this, he tells himself, he's done far scarier things than tell his best friend about future plans. Of course none of his future plans have at this point involved leaving his best friend behind.

Blaine's not really sure how it happened, why the captain of the Warblers and the lacrosse team, tall, handsome, confident—in other words, the absolute opposite of him—why he'd decided to take an interest in him when he transferred to Dalton. At first he thought Sebastian just wanted to get him in his bed, that he'd become just another conquest, another notch in his bedpost, so he'd made sure to keep his distance, not flirt back—only that proved really rather difficult.

But he soon learned Sebastian Smythe didn't do anything half-speed, it was in or out, stop or go, flirting or stone cold indifference. It made him realize that flirting was just sort of Sebastian's default setting, and he decided he was more okay with that than constantly making himself resist his advances.

Because, honestly, Sebastian was hot. Not just that, Sebastian was popular, being friends with Sebastian made him popular by association, and even though he liked telling himself popularity didn't matter nearly as much as being accepted at a new school it was nice to have it anyway.

Now, some two years later, the two of them co-captained the Warblers, did their homework together, partied together, and Blaine was at every one of Sebastian's lacrosse games (he'd tried, but boxing was more his thing than lacrosse). He knows that his fellow Warblers talk about them acting like a couple behind their backs, but Cooper's the only one who's ever asked. But no, him and Sebastian weren't like that. Not that he'd in any way object should Sebastian decide to take a chance on him.

Yes, they were best friends, but only because Blaine knew Sebastian didn't do feelings, and being another notch in his bedpost was lowering himself far more than having a secret crush on his best friend.

"Sebastian," he calls out when he sees him in the library, huddled over some papers. He doesn't know anyone who can type faster than Sebastian, but for some reason he prefers writing everything out longhand first.

"Hey, killer," Sebastian says, only briefly glancing up.

Blaine walks over and frowns down at the pages on the table. "Are you still working on your History paper?" he asks, settling down opposite Sebastian. Last time he checked, Sebastian had already gone through three edits of the same paper.

"Mrs Utterson appreciates attention to details," Sebastian answers, finally looking up to meet his eye. "What?" he asks, as if he knows Blaine's amused little smirk is coming before he feels it creep to the corners of his mouth.

"The word _overachiever _comes to mind," Blaine says. "She might start to think you have a crush on her."

Sebastian grins. "Every bit helps, killer." And then Sebastian winks at him and that all too familiar though not entirely unpleasant flip of his stomach reminds him he's not here to be flirted with.

He takes a deep breath and asks: "Can we talk?"

"Sure," Sebastian says, clicking his ballpoint pen twice before adding a comma to the third line of his essay. "What's up?"

He stays silent, because he really needs Sebastian to hear him. He lets the silence drag for a few moments, until he sees that Sebastian realizes he still hasn't said a word. Sebastian looks up at him, studies his expression carefully. "Okay," he says, and puts down his pen, leans back in his chair. "You have my undivided attention."

He draws in another deep breath, shifts to the tip of his seat, and looks Sebastian straight in the eyes. "I'm leaving Dalton, Sebastian," he says.

Sebastian's head shakes with a stutter, eyes narrowing on his face, a tiny incredulous smile pulling at his lips. "What are you talking about?" he asks.

"I'm leaving Dalton..." he repeats, but it's not any easier to say a second time. "... with Kurt."

He doesn't know why he feels the need to add it. This isn't even about Kurt; he's doing this for himself.

Sebastian averts his eyes, all humor leaving his face. "Oh," he goes, sitting forward in his chair, grabbing his pen, clicking once.

He can't tell what's going through Sebastian's mind—he's never really easy to read even during his joyous moments and when he gets more serious, Blaine's never been able to read him at all.

"Sebastian," he says, almost falling from his chair with how close he's leaning to the table. "Please, say something."

Another beat follows and this time it's Sebastian who takes a deep breath, looks up at him, and something flashes in his eyes. "Are you sure about this?" Sebastian asks. "Those public schools smell bad. I'll be worried sick about you."

He smiles, but he's almost certain it's not from relief. Sebastian's _really_ hard to read, but he's long since known Sebastian often uses humor to change the mood of a conversation. But he doesn't want his decision to leave Sebastian with a bad feeling. Would he actually miss him that much?

"I've been to public school, remember?" he says. "I've thought this through."

Sebastian looks down, lips set in a tight line. "Well, if it's who—" he clears his throat, "—_what_ you want…" Sebastian's voice trails off, and he swallows hard before meeting Blaine's eyes. It's different this time, his voice lacks humor, but when Sebastian puts his pen back down and leans back in his chair, he knows that's about to change again.

"They'll be nowhere near as appreciative of your talent, you do know that, right?" Sebastian says, another playful smile, usual cheerfulness in his voice, but Blaine hears something different too. Doubt.

So he doesn't humor Sebastian with his response, there's no room for their playful banter. "That's not why I'm going."

"No," Sebastian casts down his eyes, palm of his hand flat on the table. "Of course not," he says, and frowns to himself.

"Sebastian—" Blaine says carefully, drawn even closer to his best friend but the table's decidedly _in his way_.

"I have to go," Sebastian says, and starts to grab his things together. "I really need to type this up."

"S-Sure," Blaine utters in a confused stutter.

Sebastian all but runs from the room.

Blaine blinks.

He just managed to make Sebastian feel uncomfortable and so far that's never happened before—he didn't make people feel uncomfortable, that was Sebastian's forte. He wants to talk this through, ask Sebastian if he's really okay with him leaving Dalton, even though there's little Sebastian can say or do at this point to change his mind. But he doesn't want to lose Sebastian's friendship.

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Sebastian avoids him for two days. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this silent treatment, friendship isn't based on whether or not you go to the same school as the other person, sometimes it isn't even based on distance. So why's Sebastian making such a big deal out of this? They'll still see each other, he'll still come to Sebastian's games and see the Warblers compete—deep down he has to admit he's excited at the prospect of potentially competing against Sebastian should he join the New Directions.

He'd imagined Sebastian would get a kick out of that too. But no, all he got from Sebastian was silence. Now he's pretty much packed and about every Warbler had bid him 'adieu' so far (Trent's words), but his best friend couldn't even bother to show up.

"Hey, killer," Sebastian's voice sounds from behind him some two hours before his parents are scheduled to pick him up. He's doing some last minute rearranging of his suitcases (who knew he still had this many bowties lying around in his closet?) and he's stressing himself out over every little thing, and there he is, his best friend, just strolling in like the past two days haven't happened at all.

"Come to say goodbye?" Blaine asks, keeping his back turned to him.

"Come to change your mind," Sebastian answers.

He turns around and looks at Sebastian, leaning casually against the doorframe, hands in his pockets, blazer unbuttoned. "I'm not changing my mind, Sebastian," Blaine says. "I need to do this for me."

Sebastian shoots a step forward, arms now defensively crossed over his chest. "You're doing this for Kurt."

Blaine frowns. "What?"

Is this—Does he detect a little jealousy? Is Sebastian worried that he'll lose his best friend status to Kurt? He could never do that, Sebastian knows him better than anyone, knows _things _about him he's never told another soul.

"You're leaving with Kurt," Sebastian says. "This isn't out of some sense of justice. You're making an emotional decision and for what? Because you—" something in Sebastian's eyes falters, a hurt he doesn't know how to name, "—because you're in love with him?"

"Because I'm—" he blurts out, because _what_ and _hu_? Where did Sebastian ever get the idea that he's in love with Kurt? Sure, they get along fine and Kurt expresses his feelings much easier than Sebastian, but that doesn't mean he's _in love_. It's kind of hard to allow someone new in your heart when you're hung up on your best friend. God knows he's tried to focus on other boys, but he keeps coming back to Sebastian.

"I never said that," Blaine adds, reluctant to outright deny it when Sebastian's clearly decided why he's leaving Dalton. And why would that even matter? He likes to think Sebastian would be happy for him should he fall in love.

Unless—is this _actual_ jealousy?

"Kurt is my friend and I can help him," he says.

"I'm your best friend."

"Yes, Sebastian, you are." He takes a step closer this time, but there's still half a dorm room separating them. "But you don't need me."

Sebastian was like a mentor to him, in between the flirtation and the buddy-bonding they'd connected over the reality that brought him to Dalton, the pain, the bullying and Sebastian had always made sure he felt accepted wherever they went. He has the chance to do that for Kurt now. But he's not sacrificing his friendship with Sebastian for another with Kurt.

"Is that what this is about?" Sebastian asks, uncrossing his arms. "You think I—"

"You know what this is about." Blaine averts his eyes. "Last time, I—I ran." He shrugs. "I'm not going to do that again."

He knows there's a flaw in his reasoning: Kurt's tormentor isn't his and even if he could face his own what would he really do? Their history teacher often says violence only begets violence and he understands that—his bullies infused him with an anger he never thought he was capable off in the first place, but that doesn't mean he should repay them in kind. He's bigger than that.

But that doesn't mean he should just turn his back on Kurt—he knows first and foremost Kurt's going back so that his parents don't have to worry about where to get the money for his tuition fees, so Blaine figures he can use the moral support.

And he could use some sense of justice being served, show his own out-of-sight tormentors that they didn't beat him down, they didn't break him, he's stronger than before and he won't take that crap from anyone ever again. Sebastian has to know that part of that strength came from him.

"I understand," Sebastian says.

Blaine looks up, something in his chest tightening because _how_ can he ever love another boy when Sebastian knows him so completely?

"What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't—" Sebastian takes a breath, then shrugs, staring down at his feet.

Blaine's not really sure what's going on, he's acting different, even though he's never forced Sebastian to hide anything from him—but there's a heaviness to all of this that's never clung to them before. All this because he's leaving Dalton? Does Sebastian need him around that bad?

"Need any help?" Sebastian asks, deflecting, changing the subject, but at least now he's somewhat made his feelings known.

"No, I'm just about ready."

Sebastian drawls a few steps closer, until he's but a few inches away, and puts a hand down on his shoulder. "You'll miss the uniform, you know," Sebastian says, absentmindedly wiping at his blazer, even though it's still impeccable.

He wonders if it's Sebastian's way of saying he'll miss him.

"I'll miss more than just the uniform," Blaine says, his voice breaking on the final syllable.

Sebastian looks at him, the sentiment in his eyes entirely undecipherable. Blaine knows his eyes are shining with tears but he doesn't care—Sebastian has to know this wasn't an easy decision for him. It was the right one to make, but not easy by a long shot.

He's not sure how much time passes between them.

All he knows is that Sebastian's hand's still on his shoulder and at a certain point he squeezes once and then moments pass and his hand starts kneading and jolts of terrifying excitement summersault through his body and he notices they're both breathing more heavily.

And then Sebastian starts leaning in, tentative at first, gauging his reaction, but all Blaine can do is focus on _breathing_, because he's pretty sure his brain has short-circuited. Sebastian draws his hand up, moving to his cheek now and Blaine reaches up for Sebastian's wrist and somewhere in the flurry of empty thought he licks his lips.

It seems like it takes forever, but it's a forever he cherishes because the anticipation courses through his veins, from his toes to his fingertips right up to his freaking hair follicles. He's wanted this for so long and now it's actually happening and by the time Sebastian's lips brush his he knows no fantasy has prepared him for this.

His lips part and Sebastian presses a kiss to his upper lip; he tries to kiss back but it feels clumsy and uncoordinated with Sebastian's lips opening against his, hot heavy breaths between them, and then the flicker of Sebastian's tongue licking into his mouth. It doesn't go beyond that, just gasps and breathing, tongues massaging between kissing lips, and he gets dizzy with the rhythm of it.

His right arm just sort of hangs by his side, fist clenching and unclenching with every breathless sigh and moan, flailing because he's kissing the boy he's had a crush on for quite a while now and he's _kissing him back_. There's a part of him that wants to squeal and scream and _sing_, but the part of him that's currently completely and utterly blissed out reigns him in. Ironic really.

"Oh geesh," a voice sounds from the doorway and it startles both of them so much they release each other instantly, both gazing towards the door. Whoever had walked in on them is already out of the room again when he shouts "Sorry, guys!" but judging by the whiff of blond hair it was probably Jeff.

Sebastian turns to him again and licks the corner of his mouth, chest heaving, staring down at him. "I know you need to do this," he says, standing close but not touching him. "I just needed to make sure you didn't do it because—"

"Because of what?" he asks, voice almost completely gone.

Sebastian smiles softly. "Because I've been an idiot."

"It was never—" He clears his throat, because he needs Sebastian to hear him clearly. His hands remain undecided on where they want to land. "It wasn't about the feelings you had or didn't have for me."

"Well, now you know." He's never seen Sebastian more serious than this. He's never seen Sebastian more exposed than this. "But don't think I'll go easy on you at Regionals."

"Good." He smiles, fixing the lapels on Sebastian's blazer. "Because you know I'll whip the New Directions into shape."

"Blaine—"

"Don't," he says, eyes digging into Sebastian's. He shakes his head, running his hands down the front of Sebastian's blazer before they come to rest at his waist. "Don't say goodbye to me," he whispers, and this time he reaches up to plant a greedy kiss on Sebastian's lips, hands steadying him as they grab onto an almost identical Dalton blazer.

Both of Sebastian's hands are on his face this time, tongue teasing against his lips and then against his own but now he's sucking and draws him in deeper, their tongues settling against each other in his mouth. Blaine moans, his hands drawing up Sebastian's body, warm through the thin layer of his white shirt.

He's pretty sure he can keep at this for two hours. Maybe he can invite Sebastian for dinner or they can go out—_whatever_, he might possibly just want to do this for the rest of his life.

They're both so caught up that they don't hear the whistling coming down the hall, the footsteps and subsequent skid of a shoe on the wooden floor, followed by a sharp intake of breath. Someone—neither of them bother to check who it is—clears his throat, loudly, but by the time he utters the words "Jesus Christ, guys," Nick's voice already sounds from further away.

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